Indulge in our Thanksgiving, food, and humor issue
As I sit down to write this Simply Amusing Thanksgiving newsletter, I’m feeling grumpy and irritable. I imagine I’m not the only one feeling that way these days, but considering I’m writing a humor column right now, it is probably not a good idea. Besides it’s Thanksgiving – we should be feeling grateful, not grumpy and irritated. Well it’s a good thing it is November because that means it time for my annual food issue. And we all know that food can cure almost anything, especially irritability.
So what scrumptious morsels am I going to talk about this year? Last year I covered the condiments, and I’m sure I’ve mentioned my favorite issue about pies (why do we serve pies at Thanksgiving and not cake). This year I thought I’d do something a bit different. Rather than talking about all of the abundance of food that we bring to the table, I decided to talk about something that is absent from the feast. Something that 364 days a year is held in high regard, but on Thanksgiving Day is almost considered taboo. You’ll never see it in any holiday ad, or featured on any holiday cooking show. And I’m not sure you could even order it as part of one of those ready made, heat and eat, not from scratch holiday meal you pick up at resturants and grocery stores.
Guess what’s missing
Have you guessed the mystery item by now? If you said vegetables, you are close. Unfortunately mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams, scalloped potatoes, and creamed corn are still considered vegetables even thought they are swimming in fat and sugar . And don’t leave out the American favorite, the green bean casserole – enough said about that one. Oh and don’t forget the attempt at healthy with the olives, pickles, and little yellow corn looking things. Occasionally, if you have a person in your family with a European background, you might see brussell sprouts on the table, but for the most part, healthy vegetables are pretty much a no no at Thanksgiving.
Healthy is the reason you never see salad on a Thanksgiving table. Okay, there is the cool whip topped jello thing that they call a salad, but to me, if it’s isn’t green, it ain’t a salad. I know, I know, that means I don’t consider chicken salad, potato salad, or even tuna salad as salads either. To me those things are just cold versions of a casserole.
In my book, a salad contains lettuce, and I don’t think I have ever seen lettuce served at Thanksgiving. What’s the point, with all that good fatty food on the table, who wants to eat a tasteless piece of leaf. Healthy has no place at Thanksgiving. It is saved for January which just happens to be my diet issue of Simply Amusing. So eat up, enjoy, and try to remember what you are thankful for.
Original Corny Jokes
Written by Susan Sherbert
What kind of lettuce is best served really cold?
Why was the salad taken off the menu?
Because it was CHOPPED
How was the salad bullied in the kitchen?
It was TOSSED around a lot
What type of lettuce is allergic to the salad spinner?