Get in the holiday SPIRIT with some humor about wine.
A holiday WHINE
How am I supposed to write a humor piece about something that tastes terrible? I truly don’t understand why people like to drink wine. The first time you taste any kind of alcohol it tastes bitter and horrible. It’s a bit like coffee, but coffee gives you a false sense that it may taste okay because it smells delightful. And even if you don’t like coffee, you can drown it in cream and sugar so you can at least swallow the stuff. With wine, not a chance!
I don’t know why you can’t add cream or sugar to wine, but apparently it’s just not done. If you drink tea you are allowed to add honey, lemon, and or sugar. But as for wine – nothing. You have to drink it straight. You are not even supposed to add ice. Nooo! Wine has to be just the right temperature, and even then that varies depending upon the color. And can you imagine serving hot wine from a mug. Even if hot was somehow allowed, you would never, ever, get away with serving wine from a mug. Wine apparently tastes better out of glass, and again there are separate rules for white and red.
If you ask me, it’s all just crazy, crazy, crazy. Wine tastes bad, no matter what shape of glass you put it in. And why shouldn’t it – wine is nothing more than fermented grapes, – in other words, rotting. It’s a bit like blue cheese. Why anyone chooses to eat moldy food, and drink spoiled grapes, is beyond me. Oh, wait. Yeah, I think I understand it now. In order to fully appreciate rotting food and fermented drink, maybe you have to be a bit tipsy to enjoy it.
Original Corny Jokes From our wine ebook
Written by Susan Sherbert
What kind of wine should you serve on a first date?
Where do men go to get away from their nagging wives?
The WHINE bar