Capitals of the WORLD!
It’s June, that means it is time to travel. Time to get out and go some place. The gas is expensive but road trips are always an adventure. I remember one trip to Montana where we passed a sign that said “hubcap capital of the world.” Really? Capital of the world? The world’s a very large place. As we drove past Pearsonville, there didn’t seem to be that many hubcaps, so how does a town that isn’t even on the Auto Club map become a capital of the world? Well it is California, so maybe there is a Hollywood connection or something.
Then hours later we were traveling past Gilroy with a sign proclaiming it the garlic capital of the world. I thought, what does it take to become a capital of the world, and who gets to decide what town gets to hold the honor? If it’s the garlic capital of the entire world, wouldn’t you think that title should be held somewhere in Italy?
And before I could finish pondering the garlic capital, we passed Castroville – the artichoke capital of the world. Next came the salad capital of the world as well as the seed, strawberry, and raisin capitals. If you happen to drive along the Oregon coast you can also find the oyster capital and the lily capital of the world – or was it the iris capital? Who knows, but all of this capital stuff kept me thinking, and trust me in the onion and potato fields of Idaho there is not much else to do but think.
Socks & Red Flannel
Once I found a bathroom and a bit of civilization, I would have to verify some of these world claims. I was amazed at what I found. Take Fort Payne, Alabama, for instance. They are the sock capital of the world and according to The Hosiery Association, one out of every eight Americans wears socks made in Fort Payne.
Okay that makes sense, and so does the story of how Cedar Springs, Michigan became the red flannel capital of the world. Yet it still doesn’t explain how Gallup, New Mexico became the drunk driving capital or why Chatsworth, California would actually want to hold the title of Porn capital of the world. A few more along that same thinking are Claxton, Georgia as the fruitcake capital, Eau Claire, Michigan as the cherry pit spitting capital, and Beaver, Oklahoma as the cow chip throwing capital. Why?
Another one I don’t understand is Brandon, Oregon. We stayed in Brandon, and it was raining, but how does that make it the storm capital of the world? Wouldn’t it seem more logical for that title to be in Kansas with the tornadoes, or along the East coast with the hurricanes? It makes as much sense as Cooper, Texas being the vetch capital of the world. What is vetch you ask – the dictionary defines it as a plant in the legume family grown for fodder. Fodder, what in the heck is fodder? (Just a fancy word for animal feed).
One last observation – did you happen notice that all of these self-proclaimed capitals of the world are in the United States! Actually there are some capitals in other parts of the world but they are not exciting enough to make the Simply Amusing Humor Blog. For example Te Puke, New Zealand is the kiwifruit capital of the world and the shipbuilding capital is Glasgow, Scotland.
So I’ll come full circle and end up back at Pearsonsville, California. Only in America is it possible for a town with a population of 27 to be the world capital of anything, even if it is only hubcaps. Hey I wonder what it would take to make Susanville, California, the corny joke capital of the world?
Original Corny Jokes
Written by Susan Sherbert
What city could claim to be the capital of fair and honest banking?
What city should be the capital for the school of hard knocks?
What State should hold the title for doing tons and tons of laundry?
What State could claim to be the capital of small soft drinks?